The Bacon Banter Show

Well, time continues to move forward and I am soon to be at a place where I should be able to come back to this part of my life (and others) that I have missed so much..... I am in a new project with a good friend, Garret Matsuura and looking forward to returning to the one thing I have always enjoyed the most, entertaining people.

Coming soon to a device near you.....'The Bacon Banter Show'! The world is a better, kinder, warmer place with 'Bacon.'

Been gone too long, see you soon.
Charlie

Hello...........I'm a Racist!

I have finally felt the sting of a political slap-in-the-face, even if it did come to me in a round-about way. Through employment and association I have been labeled a racist! OUCH!

Andy Caldwell is the host of a conservative talk radio show, The Andy Caldwell Show and the Executive Director of the Coalition of Labor, Agriculture and Business, COLAB, for Santa Barbara County and recently San Luis Obispo County to help with their start-up. I am Andy's producer and the publisher of COLAB's news aggregator, CalChronicle.com

San Luis Obispo County government has not taken kindly to Andy and a government watchdog group settling in their county.

How I became a racist:

Each year Andy puts together a dinner for the COLAB membership which is attended by 800 or more members. In April of this year he did just that and hired actor Steve Bridges who impersonates President Barack Obama as the entertainment. Steve also impersonates President George W. Bush, President Bill Clinton, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Gore and more. I want to note at this point that Steve has done his President Obama impersonation on The Jay Leno Show, The Today Show and at many corporate events around the country. Oh, and Steve is white.

Andy had been asked to emcee an event for State Senator Sam Blakeslee this week and prior to the event Senator Blakeslee received an email from San Luis Obispo County Supervisor Adam Hill that read:

“Perhaps you don’t know about the hostile, secretive, and frequently racist activities of COLAB, I wish I could give you the benefit of the doubt on this one, but this is so disappointing and offensive. I only hope you won’t be featuring a black face entertainer impersonating the President as Andy Caldwell featured in COLAB’s recent fundraiser in Santa Maria. Best of luck.”

Then he shipped a copy of the email off to local media. Needless to say, I am miffed. COLAB is comprised of members of organized labor, farmers and ranchers, and members of the business community, such as doctors, lawyers, industrialists, and other family owned businesses, including those owned by Hispanics, African Americans and Native Americans; none of whom are racist.

Adam Hill's email has not been received well by the community. Even liberal columnists and a radio talk show host, yes, we have a liberal talk radio show host, have spent a lot of time defending Andy and COLAB. They might not like or agree with Andy but they know dirty, smelly politics.

Now that I am a racist I might as well share another comment from a business leader that was at this dinner:

"One of the things that I noticed about the COLAB wing ding was not so much the multiple racial hues, but that there were far too many guys in Western wear. Some of those guys I know for a fact have never even been on a horse, let alone shoveled horse shit. They certainly can’t claim to be cowboys."

"This mocking of the American cowboy by guys who have never roped a cow is an insidious form of pseudo-cultural hegemony by COLAB that must not be tolerated. I will report this to Adam Hill so that he can expose it to the press with the appropriate sensationalism."

Thank you Mike!

As Andy Caldwell and COLAB continue to grow in San Luis Obispo County, with, I am sure, the unintended help from Adam Hill to watch over our county supervisors I can find comfort in that old saying that has proven true over and over again, "Those who make the most noise have the most to hide!"

C.

Smoke'in Good Time

I have finally found what I think is the world's best fish taco and I don't take fish tacos lightly!!

I was in Cayucos, about 35 miles up the coast from Pismo Beach, very early in the morning a couple of Saturdays back to wait for my wife, Jan, and daughter, Sara, to finish the Rock to Pier 10K they were running in. I was parked at the pier right off D St. in that little ally way and decided to cruise the town. There were no waves to suit-up for so why not?

On the corner a man was working hard measuring and cutting a large piece of wood out side the open door to the Smoke House. He was wearing a cooks apron and my curiosity got the best of me. I introduced myself and asked what he was up to. I did mention my past restaurant endeavors and to my surprise he was very familiar with my now long gone restaurants.

He immediately gave me a tour and showed the warm hospitality you usually get from restaurant owners. Inside was a high glass case counter with all his smoked products, fish, pork and cheese. Behind a partition a 2 man work station to make orders and a double wide, 12 rack smoker. That was about it. Orders are picked up through a small window on the beach side or over the counter. There are no tables inside, however, you can sit outside on the corner, dodge skateboarders and watch the waves.

When my wife and daughter finished the 10K I took them back to meet Jim Ruddell. I am still amazed at his hospitality. He opened the smoker and sampled us on different smoked products and gave us a sample of Salmon to take with us. I also purchased some smoked albacore for a picnic the next day.

The experience was so good and it is so seldom you are treated with genuine warmth (you know what I mean...) I decided to take Jan and the boards and go back up to Cayucas the next Saturday to look for surf and try Jim's fish tacos. We didn't find any waves, again, but we did find THE FISH TACO. I ordered the smoked albacore and it was delivered to the table wrapped in foil looking more like a large burrito. It was the best fish taco I have ever eaten, and I have eaten allot of them!! (The only hint I will give as to why Jim's fish tacos are so good is smoke and apple.)

If you want a nice ocean view drive and the best fish taco ever, and maybe some surfing thrown in stop in and see Jim. Order a fish taco!

You can visit Ruddell's Smoke House web site here, http://www.smokerjim.com/

Back In the Saddle, or in this case, Back On the Surfboard

In September of last year I wrote about my job and the politics I deal with daily. Considering the mess the State of California and its cities are in, things were getting a little depressing. The letter to the editor I posted from Ken Huber explained my mood rather well. However, it is not the general mood I wanted to set in this blog. It stopped me in my tracks and I have been looking for a new direction since September.

The solution to this depressive direction has been right in front of me for a while now and it took getting whacked in the head, (literally), to realize how easy we can get sucked into the very dark toilet place.

After many years of non-participation I began surfing again with a group of friends and spend as much time as I can with them at a place we call "The Wall."  You would think this alone would be a celebration. I was not treating it accordingly and the excitement and beauty of the surf, "The Wall" and participating in the sport with my friends was being lost in that damn toilet. (will not divulge "The Wall" location)

After a while my partner in life for 32 years, my wife Jan, decided she would not watch me head off to the beach alone. She decided to join me and learn to surf. Jan, as she does with everything that has to do with water, embraced surfing and in a very short time has become good at sliding through waves on her 9 Ft. Flecky Long Board. She loves to surf.

My point..............I wasn't paying attention! Our last session together I was doing what I love to do, hang outside waiting for a wave and watch Jan ride anything and everything she can paddle into. I kicked into a wave and got a short ride and at the bottom turned right, directly into the nose of Jan's 9 ft boat. It was a direct hit to the forehead. She laughed at me, said I should pay attention to my surroundings and paddled back out for another wave.

She was right, as usual. There are enough people talking and writing from the very dark toilet place to keep political discussion going for a very long time and there is no sense in letting it consume your thought process any longer than it takes to relieve yourself. I am going to pay attention to my surroundings, enjoy what I have here and not write about anything that might even remotely sound like a political pundit. And hopefully not get hit in the head again.

Thanks Jan, I will be looking for my opportunity for payback......

Little Abuse Is Back

The point of this Blog is to find the humor, and sometimes not, in being one of those people navigating through life in a very short (under 5 foot) body. I have had 60 years of practice and want to take a long look at the mostly positive and funny side of this very challenging journey.

After a rather long (almost 5 months) vacation I have returned and I want to get right back to all these stories rooling around in my head. Instead, however, I am going to do something different..............

Nothing surprises me anymore, nothing. My day job is a mix of publishing online news and producing a conservative talk radio show Monday through Friday. I have not had a news story, commentary or guest interview in the last year that has surprised me even a little. I have, however, been scared, sad, sick, disillusioned and confused with what I have read and heard from those who are pundits and scholars.

I am afraid of what is happening in and to America. It is not a subject I would write about but someone else has and I thought I would post it. This letter to an Editor puts it in very understandable points:

What Has America Become?

Has America become the land of special interest and home of the double standard?

If we lie to the Congress, it's a felony and if the Congress lies to us it's just politics; if we dislike a black person, we're racist and if a black dislikes whites, it's their 1st Amendment right; the government spends millions to rehabilitate criminals and they do almost nothing for victims; in public schools you can teach that homosexuality is OK, but you better not use the word God in the process; you can kill an unborn child, but it's wrong to execute a mass murderer; we don't burn books in America, we now rewrite them; we got rid of the communist and socialist threat by renaming them progressives; we are unable to close our border with Mexico, but have no problem protecting the 38th parallel in Korea; if you protest against President Obama's policies you're a terrorist, but if you burned an American flag or George Bush in effigy it was your 1st Amendment right.

You can have pornography on TV or the internet, but you better not put a nativity scene in a public park during Christmas; we have eliminated all criminals in America, they ae now called sick people; we can use a human fetus for medical research, but it's wrong to use an animal.

We take money from those who work hard for it and give it to those who don't want to work; we all support the Constitution, but only when it supports our political ideology; we still have freedom of speech, but only if we are being politcally correct; parenting has been replace with Ritalin and video games; the land of opportunity is now the land of hand outs; the similarity between Hurricane Katrina and the Gulf Oil Spill is that neither President did anything to help.

And how do we handle a major crisis today? The government appoints a committee to determine who's at fault, then threatens them, passes a law, raises our taxes; tells us the problem is solved so they can get back to their reelection campaign.

What has happened to the land of the free and home of the brave?

Ken Huber

Fess Parker - A Very Sad Day

I just heard the news that Fess Parker has passed and this is a very sad day. I worked for Fess and his family for many years. Fess was the most gracious and supportive person I have ever known. He was not the man that the local press portrayed as the "Evil Developer". He cared for Santa Barbara and did more good for that haven of elite than any of his detractors will ever admit or ever do themselves.

"Be Sure Your Right, Then Go Ahead"

This is my favorite picture of Fess and for now I will leave this post with a positive image of him and express great appreciation for knowing him for the time I did. He was truly a great man!

A Short Story : The Land of Giants

I recently spent some time emailing and on the phone with a friend who has never physically met me, Dr Mark. We have known each other for some time but we have never really discussed anything other than what he does and when he can talk about it on the radio show I produce. Dr. Mark is a Ph.D., professor and director of a bioethics program on the east coast. He is a very positive and  persuasive person who will have to accept some credit for my flailing jump into this pool.

I will start the same way I did with Dr. Mark. In short, I'm short. Most days I am too busy to remember that fact of my life but there are those special occasions that always bring me back to the reality of this world we live in and the people in it. It is the ridiculous, humorous, stupid and sad occasions  I enjoy sharing with the hope that you can relate.

For several years I was the General Manager for The Fess Parker Winery & Vineyard. If you are younger than 50 you might need some help here. Fess Parker was the actor who played Davy Crockett in the 1950's and Daniel Boone in the 1960's. Fess is 6' 7", his son, a long time friend is 6' 6" and his daughter is 6' 5". This was the core of my supervisors, the owners........The Land of the Giants. I have great respect for this family because they had met me many times over the years long before I was hired by them to manage their business and never was height, my height, an issue.............. Except once.

On a Sunday afternoon I was enjoying a day off and the phone rang. Fess was calling to ask me to drive down to the winery, a 45 minute trip one way,  immediately to meet with him in his office. I was curious as to the issue at hand but he only wanted to talk to me in his office. I made the 50 mile trip in approximately 35 minutes using that time to mentally check the past couple of weeks for possible flaws in my management skills, vocabulary, etc. On arrival he was standing outside his office waiting for me. As I stepped into his office he slowly closed the door behind us and even slower, walked behind his desk and sat down. You know the feeling, "OK, just shoot me now and get it over with!"

He was never really a soft spoken man.  You knew when he was talking and he had your attention, but now he was talking very slow and quiet. He was explaining to me how an employee had complained about how I had treated them. Verbally abused them. The complaint has no other bearing on this story except that it is why he decided to talk with me. After giving me the purpose for the meeting he told me a story about a night out in Hollywood during the time he was still an A list actor. He was having dinner at a restaurant popular with the entertainment industry and was walking to his table when a very good looking lady (he says) watched him walk by and made a very ugly remark about his size. He told me he was humiliated and it took him weeks to get over the fact that some one judged him negatively because of his size. He continued to say that over the years it had been a hardship at times to be so tall.

At the end of his story he stood up and looked at me with a big smile and said that he hoped he had cleared up any issues I might have had with managing employees. That was my cue to get the hell out of his office. I did so quickly and never heard another word about my verbal abuse case, however, I had to hire a new employee for the tasting room the next week. Fess had a second meeting that Sunday.

I will never forget the lesson Fess taught me with his restaurant story. Thank God i'm not tall and people can't make fun of my height!